I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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