It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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