He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
