It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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