I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
this hospital has no fireball
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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