Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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