when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
