I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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