He asked me if I "almost moaned"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
