is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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