Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Who died my cat blue again?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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