Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
