I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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