Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
