That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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