I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
