I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
