I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
