garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
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