you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
