dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
as a side note pls kill me
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
