Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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