Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
