She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
