So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
