I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
the condom got lost in my hair
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Randomize
