I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
