She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize