Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
