This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
