okay pat passed out under dana's car
too bad you live with your parents still
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
