I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
