This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
