i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
