Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I can't put those talents on a resume
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
