Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
