Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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