So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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