When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
