we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
