How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
