He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
