miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
