first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
