Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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