She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
