She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
