i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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