he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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