i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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