the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
