Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
