I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Ambien. No doubt about it.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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