and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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