the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
