I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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