Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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