I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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