Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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