Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You were trust falling into bushes
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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