oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
